bored

Maybe once you have a job that actually matters to someone, it's hard to have a job that makes no difference to anyone.

I enjoy not being stressed out, being able to 'leave my work at work,' not worrying about it when I go home. I enjoy not having dreams about my job, not worrying about whether or not I'm really doing any good, as I'm not trying to do any good to anyone at all.

But it's really sort of difficult to get into a job when you know it really doesn't matter.

Or maybe that's just the sort of person I am - do I really want to spend 40 hours a week doing something that does nothing towards making the world a better place for anyone? No. I do not.

Is it enough to tutor a few hours every week? Is it enough to volunteer every so often? Can I really tolerate a meaningless, capitalist job?

I believe I am in a holding pattern. Eventually, I am going to have to land, get off the plane, and get back to work.

I wonder how long it will be until I get motion sickness from the circling...I'm starting to feel a little queasy...