still here
I don't really have any particular reason for not updating this, actually. My job is crazy and fantastic. I work with middle school kids at a "disadvantaged" middle school, which means, as far as I can tell, that they just aren't that lucky and for some reason that means they are treated pretty badly all the time - as if everyone is waiting for them to seriously screw up. You get what you expect, you know? So, after school, we try as hard as we can to expect them to do well, and hope that if we care enough, and if we work really hard, maybe at least some of them will start to believe that the people who treat them like they're budding criminals are wrong. There are some amazing, dedicated teachers at that school. And I'm sure that most of the teachers at least were dedicated at some point. I can see why they lose that, too, actually. Caring about these kids really sets you up for heartbreak. One 11 year old girl today told me that she didn't know if she'd be in the school after vacation anymore because she was put in foster care because the only person left in her family who was able to take care of her punched her in the face and now she doesn't know where she'll end up. There are at least 10 kids in the program of 55 that don't read at even a first grade level. Over half read at an elementary level or lower. I try to be realistic. We care about them now and hope that even if they don't "make it," at least they'll have known that someone cared about them, wanted them to do well and believed they could. And it will break my heart when I read about one of them in the paper years from now. But I'm determined not to let myself stop caring. What else is there to do, really? They're kids, no matter what they do. To do anything less is to continue to deny them what they deserve.
Bla bla bla.
I don't really know what else to say. I have five days off in a row now and am SO excited about that. I don't know what we'll do, but hopefully something fun. Maybe I'll let you all know! Which begs the question - will anyone read this???
posted by Clandestine @ 8:32 PM
4 Comments:
You are such an amazing, wonderful person!
"I'm determined not to let myself stop caring"
Would that one one hundredth of the world's population even tried to do that; our problems would be over!
Thank you for being you and for doing what you do!
Thank you as well for the update!
alan
I read this Clandestine. We haven't spoken in what, almost two years now?
You sound like someone who really cares for those precious kids many in society have "dumped."
You are to be admired. Maybe someday we'll get the chance to meet over lunch - the four of us.
Hope all is well.
Steve
That was beautiful. So many people talk the talk about reaching out and helping others but few translate that talk to action. You are one of the few! Bravo!
And yes, we are reading, so update more often,
Jon-Marc
I've been exactly where you are and it got to be too much for me. We've also been foster parents for "at-risk" teens. I didn't stop caring for the children, but I needed to stop caring at the expense of my own family, if that makes sense. I still work with kids, just in a different capacity.
I admire your determination and dedication.
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